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to fanya [let's go to...] |
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geschrieben am: 18.03.2002 um 15:43 Uhr
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... the big blue ocean.
what about sittin' on the rock?
i hope you'll feel a lil' bit of
purple peace and freedom in here.
a silent kiss,
xsx
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geschrieben am: 18.03.2002 um 16:17 Uhr
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hey, quite a good idea.. but take care of not falling into the big blue ocean..
cause you might know the feeling of swimming [unsuspecting] and suddenly you are caged by a maelstrom that draws you in the depth. and you scream but there comes nothing out but air bubbles [not soap bubbles, I'm afraid] and you wave and struggle with your arms and legs but you just know exactly, that nobody can see you anyway on the surface. But you might have the good fortune to find a hand that helps you out. And when you're laying on the beach and slowly the empty darkness stops turning around in your head, you realise that it isn't over at all. And then, when you've opened your eyes, you are totally sure, that you will never ever go swimming again.. in the big blue ocean.
but well - whatever - let's enjoy the peace..
a purple kiss,
fanya
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geschrieben am: 18.03.2002 um 16:32 Uhr
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oh yes. i know what you mean.
but the feeling of being pulled down is not only there i think. it's e-ve-ry-where when you just feel caged or afraid of something...
i guess, i need the ocean [today]. i love the waves and the sound the water makes. you only hear the nature and feel like being a part of it.
i think i would love a day there.
[and you could just send a letter to anna...]
xsx |
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geschrieben am: 18.03.2002 um 16:41 Uhr
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being a part of it, yes.. that reminds me of my little place in the wood. there you feel the world turning in times in which all seems to stand still, and you feel that you belong to it.
anna.. maybe she's down there. maybe she's just everywhere.
let's go.. |
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geschrieben am: 18.03.2002 um 16:44 Uhr
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... yes.
we could search and search and perhaps we would find her. maybe we would find some lonely and lost souls, too [one of my friends lost his soul a few days ago, if you know what i mean].
your little place. oh, i remember. i have to go to the little green-watered river and my bridge again.
let's be taken by the water...
xsx |
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geschrieben am: 18.03.2002 um 17:05 Uhr
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| ...we could make some rings of flowers. and a ring of violets for anna, too.. we could make them for every lost soul we'll find and they might find a bit of their smiling silence, with the smell of purple peace in it.. and the feeling of being lost won't be so deep anymore - maybe.. |
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geschrieben am: 18.03.2002 um 19:39 Uhr
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what a nice idea.
i like it. :-)
i think there's somebody outside all on his own, a crying <<child>> that would be glad 'bout some smiling peace.
how is it to feel like a wave inside?
a bit wah-wah perhaps?!
kiss,
xsx |
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geschrieben am: 18.03.2002 um 19:55 Uhr
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mmh.. some times i dreamt of being pulled down by some of those giant waves. at first there was a deafening noise..like hundreds of butterflies screaming in my head; but when i was under the water all got slow down and there was silence.. the deep one.
but i tried to get up..
and the wah-wah was gone.
kiss back.. :-)
° |
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geschrieben am: 19.03.2002 um 14:12 Uhr
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what 'bout going to jamaica?
i need a place where i can just live,
without thinking about anything.
[and i would love to take -somebody-
who needs peace with me].
xsx |
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geschrieben am: 19.03.2002 um 14:52 Uhr
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you mean... just Jamaica? uh – like it! you know that I got to go there - anyway. and well, I guess we'll find some peace there ;-)
[I hope I'll hear the big rasta-mama singing..]
but dear, do you really think that any place exists, where you just can stop thinking? Even in hell [or something like that] you won't be able to stop it..
mh.. even in heaven? who knows. [maybe nobody knows..]
°
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geschrieben am: 19.03.2002 um 18:22 Uhr
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mhm,... you make me think of anna again.
perhaps she is anywhere out there and knows
the answer...
i would love to ask her some questions.
oh dear. i'll go dOwN doWn DowN to my little
bridge.
~ |
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geschrieben am: 19.03.2002 um 18:33 Uhr
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and you don't know how much i would love to ask her.. so many questions. or just to talk to her.
[by the way: i couldn't wash my arms&legs clean of the black ink yet. /it seems to be >>engraved<<.]
enjoy the silence..
kiss,
f. |
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geschrieben am: 19.03.2002 um 18:55 Uhr
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(zitat)enjoy the silence..(/zitat)
i hope i'll be able to do so.
the black inc. ... hm. do you think
that it has got a meaning?
-
xsx |
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geschrieben am: 19.03.2002 um 19:08 Uhr
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don't you think that everything has got a meaning?
but well, i think you can't erase questions neither out of your mind nor maybe out of your skin. whatever. and maybe it should remind me of never stop searching. searching the answers of all of my questions.
it will be a long disease.. |
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geschrieben am: 19.03.2002 um 22:20 Uhr
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geschrieben am: 19.03.2002 um 22:53 Uhr
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sometimes..
i'm afraid to think
i'm afraid to remember
i'm afraid to be lonely [esp. when i'm lonely]
i'm afraid to search
cause i'm afraid to find
and sometimes i'm even
afraid to live.
so what? |
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geschrieben am: 19.03.2002 um 23:48 Uhr
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sometimes i'm even
afraid to go out
although i feel so
caged in here.
...
don't know what to feel
don't know what to think
don't know... who i am.
xsx |
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geschrieben am: 20.03.2002 um 07:46 Uhr
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Jetzt...auf dem Felsen....inner Sonne....blauer Himmel...
Nur im Bikini...  ...und ich weiß das im Haus mein Baby wartet....??!!
*Also....ich kann mir das ziemlich gut vorstellen...gg
Bussi
Nina |
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geschrieben am: 20.03.2002 um 12:29 Uhr
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(zitat)don't know... who i am. (/zitat)
yeppa! sometimes i wish i knew; but sometimes i even think i wouldn't bear it. and again: who knows..? |
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geschrieben am: 20.03.2002 um 12:32 Uhr
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angel, wäre dein baby nicht böse, wenn du es allein ließest?
[-don't leave me alone, mommy-] |
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geschrieben am: 20.03.2002 um 12:34 Uhr
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i don't think that
her baby is a baby.
understand what i mean?
xsx |
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geschrieben am: 20.03.2002 um 12:36 Uhr
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deshalb stand der zweite teil des postings auch in Klammern.
and again: don't leave me alone.. |
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geschrieben am: 20.03.2002 um 12:40 Uhr
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Mit "Baby" meine ich nicht mein Kind...
Sondern einen ziemlich lieben Menschen...lächelt
Angel |
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geschrieben am: 20.03.2002 um 21:58 Uhr
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hach ja, die liebe.
there are days when there's only
one question in my mind.
>>why?<<
[argh.]
xsx |
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geschrieben am: 20.03.2002 um 23:13 Uhr
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and then there are these sweet little days when you can only think of stuff like:
fuck you. |
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geschrieben am: 20.03.2002 um 23:53 Uhr
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even the blood in my lil'
veins is too sick to move
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and- the whole world iiis
stahanding still
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xsx |
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...und ich weiß das im Haus mein Baby wartet....??!!
