| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 11.02.2002 um 20:35 Uhr
|
|
*öhhmm* ... sorry .. hatte schluckauf ;-)
Geändert am 11.02.2002 um 22:09 Uhr von Feeling |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 11.02.2002 um 21:01 Uhr
|
|
*seufzt* ... hier nun den letzten buchstaben ...
wenn ihr interesse an den gesammelten werken habt, dann könnt ihr jetzt langsam post an mich mit eurer mailaddi schreiben.
ich schätz mal morgen oder übermorgen werd ich die liste fertig haben ...
YOU ARE GOING ME ON THE ALARM-CLOCK DU GEHST MIR AUF DEN WECKER
YOU ARE GOING ME ON THE COOKIE DU GEHST MIR AUF DEN KEKS
YOU CAN ME ONE TIME DU KANNST MICH MAL
YOU HAVE A JUMP IN THE DISH DU HAST NEN SPRUNG IN DER SCHÃœSSEL
YOU'RE ON THE WOODWAY DU BIST AUF DEM HOLZWEG
YOU STAND LIKE THE OX BEFORE THE HILL DU STEHST WIE DER OCHSE VORM BERG
winkerts und macht sich an die liste :-) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 11.02.2002 um 21:26 Uhr
|
|
| gg... funny joke, really! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 11.02.2002 um 21:45 Uhr
|
|
Go there where the pepper grows....frinz
Dat Selschen
Geändert am 11.02.2002 um 21:45 Uhr von Sele:)
Geändert am 11.02.2002 um 21:52 Uhr von Sele:) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 11.02.2002 um 21:48 Uhr
|
|
I didn't see the tree in front of the forest...ggg
und nochmal Sele:) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 12.02.2002 um 20:25 Uhr
|
|
hab noch nen guten witz gefunden ... *ggg*
Never under estimate the intelligence of a mother!!!
Brian Hester invited his mother over for dinner.
During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't
help but to keep noticing how beautiful Brian's
roommate, Stephanie, was. Mrs. Hester had long been
suspicious of a relationship between Brian and his
roommate, Stephanie, and this had only made her more
curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two
react, Mrs. Hester started to wonder if there was more
between Brian and his roommate, Stephanie, than met
the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, " I
know what you must be thinking, but I assure you
Stephanie and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying,
"Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been
unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. "You
don't suppose she took it, do you?"
Brian said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an
e-mail to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote: " Dear Mother, I'm not
saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from the
house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the
gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been
missing
ever since you were here for dinner."
Love Brian
Several days later, Brian received a letter from his
mother that read:
Dear son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with
Stephanie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep
with Stephanie. But the fact remains that if she was
sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the
gravy
ladle by now.
Love Mom.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 13.02.2002 um 12:06 Uhr
|
|
*pruuuuussstttt*
There was a guy sunbathing in the nude on the beach. He saw a
little girl coming toward him, so he covered himself with the
newspaper
he
was reading. The girl came up to him and asked, "What do you have
under
the newspaper?" Thinking quickly, the guy replied, "A bird." The
girl
walked away, and the guy fell asleep. When he woke up, he was in a
hospital
in tremendous pain. The police asked him what happened. The guy says,
"I
don't know. I was lying on the beach, this little
girl asked me a question, I guess I dozed off, and the next thing I
know
is
I'm here." The police went to the beach, found the girl, and asked
her,
"What did you do to that naked fellow?" After a pause, the girl
replied,
"To him, nothing - but I was playing with his bird and it spit on me,
so
I
broke its neck, cracked its eggs and set its nest on fire!"
Moral of the story..........never lie to girls. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 13.02.2002 um 12:29 Uhr
|
|
| lol feeling, guess who was that girl dummdidumm |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 13.02.2002 um 12:46 Uhr
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 13.02.2002 um 12:56 Uhr
|
|
übersetz mal.... unser,unser,mein auge ist er
bayrisch...gggg |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 13.02.2002 um 14:22 Uhr
|
|
jlaudio ... *hellauf lachts* ... das ist ein guter ...
schmerztablette reichts ... *ggg* |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 13.02.2002 um 17:50 Uhr
|
|
Time for a little humor
> A Jewish father, Moisha, was beset by his eldest son Yitzak...
> "Father, I am going to marry!"
> His father begins to dance with joy and sing Hava Nagila... "Tell me, is
> she a good Jewish girl?" says the father. "What is her name?"
> "O'Brien" replies the son... "She's Catholic..."
> "Oy!" says the father.... "But are you happy?"
> "I'm happy," says the son..
> "Ok...as long as you're happy.... my blessings to you both," replies
> Moisha.
> But the father is still counting on his remaining sons, Schlemiel and
> Chutzpah...
> Schlemiel calls on his father the next evening, "Father... I too will be
> married soon!"
> Again, Moisha breaks out in a dance and sings God's praises... "What is
> her name," implores the father?
> "Kazalopodopolous," says the son. "She's Greek Orthodox..."
> "Oy," says Moisha... "But are you happy?"
> "I'm happy, father..."
> "Ok... then you, too, have my blessing," intones Moisha...
> Dejected, Moisha goes to the Temple to pray.. "Please God... let my
> remaining son Chutzpah marry a nice Jewish girl... to raise nice Jewish
> children in your eyes ..... PLEASE!"
> Chutzpah comes to his father excitedly and exclaims, "Father! I am to
> wed in the spring!"
> "Her NAME? WHAT IS HER NAME" his father immediately demands?
> "Goldberg!" says Chutzpah!
> Moisha is beside himself with joy!
> "Praise God! Praise the Prophets!" Turning to Chutzpah, he asks, "Is she
> Doctor Goldberg's daughter Shelley, from Los Angeles?"
> "No..." says Chutzpah...
> "Hmmm," says Moisha... "Must be Attorney Goldberg's daughter Rachel from
> Hollywood?"
> "Ah...no, father" says Chutzpah...
> "Well, then, what is her first name, my youngest, truest, most beautiful
> Son?"
> "Whoopi." says Chutzpah.
> :-) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 13.02.2002 um 18:22 Uhr
|
|
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show
in a small club in a small town in Alabama. With his dummy on his knee, he's
going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row
stands on her chair and starts shouting:
"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can
stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do
with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me
from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full
potential as a person...because you and your kind continue to perpetuate
discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general . . . and all
in the name of humor!"
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde
yells: "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little smart-ass
on your knee!" |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 13.02.2002 um 22:28 Uhr
|
|
all diese 'become'-witze .. pah ...
butcher, when do i become a steak ?
hav'ya time a marc ?
haste mal ne mark ?
new german lawshouting
neue deutsche rechtschreibung
who comes then there intosnowed?
wer kommt denn da hereingeschneit?
redsouled
redselig
i'm cursed/damned good on
ich bin verflucht/verdammt gut drauf
with a min. see
vitamin c
beat me on
bete mich an!
give me a to-white!
gib mir einen hinweiß! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 14.02.2002 um 10:19 Uhr
|
|
*grinselts*
An Irishman's been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally
says that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, same result.
He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he decides to crawl the 4 blocks to his home and when he arrives at the door, he stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed, he tries one more time to stand up. This time he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting loudly. "So, you've been out drinking again!!"
"What makes you say that?" He asks as he puts on an
innocent look. "The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again." |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 14.02.2002 um 14:24 Uhr
|
|
... und noch einen ... *ggg*
"Well," says the social worker,"then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all their names."
"This one is my oldest--he's Leroy."
"OK, and who's next?"
"Well,this one's Leroy, also." The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues.
One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy.
Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, also named Leroy!
"All right...I'm seeing a pattern here...Are they ALL named Leroy?"
"Well, yes--it's actually really convenient. When it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' and they all come running. And if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Leroy' and the kid, whoever he is, stops in his tracks. It's the smartest idea I ever had, naming them all Leroy."
The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, "But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?"
"Ah, that's easy," said the mother. "Then I call them by their last names. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 14.02.2002 um 15:49 Uhr
|
|
| loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 14.02.2002 um 16:20 Uhr
|
|
A Blonde's Brain At Work
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."
So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.
"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."
"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 14.02.2002 um 16:21 Uhr
|
|
Why can't a blonde dial 911?
She can't find the eleven.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 14.02.2002 um 16:24 Uhr
|
|
How do you keep a blonde busy? (see below)
How do you keep a blonde busy? (see above) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 15.02.2002 um 09:28 Uhr
|
|
*schallend lacht* und brüderchen kräftig verstrubbelts
hier noch einen:
Redneck Vacation
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells
Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this
year I'm gonna do it a little different."
"The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago
you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant. Then
two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant
again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline didn't get
pregnant again."
Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"
Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earline with me!" |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 15.02.2002 um 12:08 Uhr
|
|
Hallo liebe Feeling,
ich weiß nicht ob schon einer diese Web-Site erwähnt hat, aber ich find sie geil.......*fg
Link
Gibt dann auch noch mal einen zum Besten:
I must now on hearen, because I still what cooken must
( Ich muss nun aufhören, weil ich noch was kochen muss )
.....kichers.....
Lieben Gruß
Marion
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 15.02.2002 um 13:29 Uhr
|
|
uuiii maf ... nein hat noch keiner erwähnt ... ich werd bei nächster gelegenheit dort nachschauen ...
dank dir und drück dich lieb :-) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 15.02.2002 um 14:52 Uhr
|
|
A very drunk man goes into a bar and orders a
drink. The bartender serves him and asks him if
he would like to try the bar game of darts. Three
in the bullseye and win a prize.. Only a dollar
for three darts.
The drunk agrees and throws the first dart.
A bullseye!! Downs another drink, takes aim on
wobbly feet, lets go...Two bulls eyes!!!! Two
more quick drinks go down. Barely able to stand,
he lets go with the last dart.
Three bulls eyes!!!
All are astounded. No one has ever won. The
bartender searches for a prize... grabs a turtle
from the bar's terrarium and presents it to the
drunk as his prize.
Three weeks pass... The drunk returns and orders
more drinks, then announces he would like to try
the dart game again. To the total amazement and
wonderment of all the local drunks, he scores
three more bulls eyes and demands his prize.
The bartender, being a sort of drunk himself, and
a bit short of memory, doesn't know what to give,
and he asks the drunk " Say, what did you win the
last time?"
And the drunk responds "A roast beef sandwich on
a hard roll!" ;-)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
| "Autor" |
|
|
|
|
geschrieben am: 15.02.2002 um 15:20 Uhr
|
|
Old but always again good (Alt, aber immer wieder gut):
"Italienisches Englisch"
One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel.
Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast.
I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast.
She brings me only one piss.
I tella her I want two piss.
She say go to the toilet.
I say, you no understand, I wanna piss onna my plate.
She say, you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch.
I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.
Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant.
The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock.
I tella her I wanna fock.
She tell me everyone wanna fock.
I tell her you no understand.
I wanna fock on the table.
She say, you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch.
So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed.
Call the manager and tella him I wanna shit.
He tell me to go to toilet.
I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed.
He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch.
I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you".
I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy...
P.D:
Fit that actually here purely? (Passt das eigentlich hier rein?)
Geändert am 15.02.2002 um 15:25 Uhr von busencreme |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top
|
